by Patricia Rohani LPC, LMFT
being or bringing into harmony; a feeling of being "at one" with another being http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/attunement
Are you longing for a safe haven in times of need, distress, and loneliness? At times, even in our marriages and family relationships we can feel we lack a certain safety to share our innermost fears, desires, and yes even our joys. We are all wired for relationship; it is our natural habitat, and for the healthy relationships you long for, attunement is key.
Attunement is being exquisitely in harmony, or “at one” with another. It is about “feeling felt” by someone. No one can be perfectly attuned at all times though. We can’t as spouses and we can’t as parents. There will never be a total absence of differences of opinion, conflict, or just plain missing the mark. In all relationships there will be times of rupture, yet do you know how, and feel safe in your repairs?
Attunement is key to our marriages and it is key to raising healthy, well-adjusted, and secure children. When we attune with another our inner world is in a state of resonance with theirs. How though do we attain attunement in our relationships with our spouses, children, family …God? It takes spending time with and focusing on the other and ourselves. In fact, we come to know our own selves through interacting with others. When we feel seen, heard and safe with another we feel a deep sense of connection, and we know there will be someone to stand with us when our “dragons” come.
Working towards attunement can bring about that relationship that we are longing for and have positive effects on physical, emotional and mental health. Some folks have spent a lifetime of being hyper focused or “tuning in” to avoid danger in unhealthy and or abusive relationships, yet to be attuned is something much different. Longing for safe connection is natural. We all desire it.
If you are struggling to find that safe haven and attunement in your relationships there is help. Call me at 503-896-6796 and set up an appointment. I look forward to your call!
Oh and enjoy this video showing exquisite attunement in grebes. Did you know many water fowl mate for life?